Totally Plastered
by ilovetvalot
Summary: When Emily suffers through a horrible set up on a blind date, watch her vent some pent up agression with Derek Morgan. Written for the TV Prompt Forum Bonus Challenge on Kavi Leighanna & Sienna27's TV Prompt Forum.


**Author's Note: As you all know by now, we are in full swing on the Profiler's Choice Awards hosted on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner". And we'd like to offer an extra incentive to get those nominations rolling in. For the next five people to complete the nomination ballot in its entirety, I would be happy to write a oneshot of your pairing preference (hetero, slash or femslash, doesn't matter!). We have an abundance of incredible stories and authors to choose from this year and we have already received many wonderful nominations. Just to refresh your memory though, tonnie2001969 and myself (ilovetvalot) have removed ourselves from eligibility in the interest of avoiding all appearances of self-promotion. But, we want to make this an incredible experience for each one of you and give you a well-rounded final voting selection to choose from. So let's all put on our reading caps and pick our favorites! **

**Also, don't forget to sign up for our newest challenge at the forum. We're honoring Halloween with our first ever "Candy Land Challenge" and signups run through September 30th! Details are at the forum!**

**We also have a great new interview with another fellow CM author this week. Come and get to know THUNDERBRAT.**

**As always, guys, Happy Reading!**

* * *

**Totally Plastered**

_**Prompt: Canada's Worst Handy Man: Totally Plastered**_

Derek Morgan stood back and admired his handiwork of the last two hours with a satisfied gleam in his eyes. Nodding approvingly at the man sized whole in the wall of his newest rental home, he grabbed his long neck bottle off the dusty work bench beside him and jerked down the protective mask he wore to take a long pull of the still cool beer.

Nothing like a little physical labor to take the edge off his tension after a long week on the road with the unit, he thought, stretching the aching muscles in his back as he looked at the hole in the wall. Knocking down the wall between the small living room and eat-in kitchenette was going to do exactly what he'd hoped...give the two small rooms a much more open, airy feel. And open rooms meant renters would be knocking down his door to snatch up this little bungalow.

It might take a little time, but in the long run, in would safe him a lot of money to do the work himself. And as an added bonus, he got to find a release for his pent-up frustrations in the meantime. Some agents had therapists. Some had wives. He had heavy metal tools meant to demolish solid items. It all worked out in the end.

Picking up his hammer again, his eagle ears perked up as he heard a car door slam in the distance, announcing the arrival of his first visitor. But….he wasn't expecting a visitor, was he?

Glancing at his watch, the lighted dial pronounced it past midnight and as he heard steps pounding up the wooden porch outside, he couldn't help but wonder who the hell had ventured out in this neighborhood so late at night.

Taking one quick step toward the small cabinet in the front hallway, he jerked open the top drawer. His fingers had touched the hilt of his gun at just the exact moment he heard a loud, decidedly female voice yell through his door, "Open up, Morgan. I know you're in there!"

Dropping the gun, he turned quickly toward the portal as his mind registered that well-known tone. His brow furrowing, he slid the deadbolt open, coming face to face with an obviously disgruntled Emily Prentiss.

Arching one brow as he stared at the vision on his doorstep, he let out a low wolf whistle as he grinned. The porch light that he had just installed earlier that day threw just enough light to illuminate her perfectly. His eyes raked up and down her silk-clad body as he murmured, "Good golly, Miss Emily. Deciding to slum it tonight?"

Pushing past him, Emily tugged the hem of her dress up higher as she sailed into the small foyer. "Put your eyes back in your head, Morgan, before your face freezes that way," Emily ordered sharply. Glaring at him, she added, snippily, "And it took you long enough to open the door! Do you always leave your friends out in the cold at midnight?"

Closing and securing the lock once again, Morgan rolled his eyes as he answered, ever so patiently, "I'm not exactly accustomed to having company on my stoop at the witching hour, Em. Be glad I didn't shoot first and ask questions later. So what do I owe the pleasure of your presence this evening, Agent Prentiss?"

"You told me if I ever needed to work off some bottled aggression that this was the place for me...I'm here...and I'm pissed," Emily ground out, striding past Derek and into the gutted living room. Her heels kicked sawdust and debris in her wake, sending up a misty cloud into the air. Spying the sledgehammer propped in the corner of the room, Emily's eyes lit up. Perfect! Grabbing it quickly, she glared at her shocked plaster dusted colleague. "YOU will never set me up on a blind date again," Emily growled, swinging the heavy sledgehammer at the far wall of the room.

WHACK!

Wincing as metal connected with plaster, Morgan stumbled backward. "Uhmmmm... Em?" he called, his brow furrowing deeply.

"And I will NEVER accompany any man to anyplace called the Pink Biscuit again!" Emily yelled, swinging her tool toward the wall again, her shoulders shifting perfectly as the oversized hammer met its enemy with precision.

WHACK!

"It was a STRIP club, Morgan!" Emily yelled, pausing only long enough to hike her little black dress up around her toned legs to widen her stance. Picking up the sledgehammer again, she eyed the dented wall in front of her with unrestrained glee, imagining the head of her former date.

WHACK!

"And do you want to know what that so-called "good guy" you set me up with did?" Emily asked through clenched teeth, taking careful aim at the wall.

WHACK!

"Do you?" she yelled over her shoulder into Derek's slack face before taking yet another blind swing at the wall, the sound of plaster connecting with the floor sending a pleased thrill down her spine.

WHACK!

Not offering Morgan so much as a heartbeat to respond, Emily shrieked, "He asked to borrow a C-note, Derek! He wanted to tip the stripper!" she yelled, taking one final swing at the defenseless former wall. Throwing the sledgehammer aside, Emily panted heavily with exertion as she wiped her sweat soaked forehead with a grimy hand. "Now," she rasped, narrowing sparkling eyes on her friend, "What do you have to say?"

And as Derek Morgan stared at the gaping hole in the far corner of his newest rental home, he lifted a weak arm in a helpless gesture.

"Well?" Emily bit out impatiently, tapping her three hundred dollar shoes against his scarred floor. "Say something!" she ordered imperiously, her tone rising.

So he did.

"Wrong wall," he whispered hoarsely, thumbing toward the opposite side of the room.

And watching Emily Prentiss' enraged eyes dilate, Derek Morgan was certain of only one thing in his life.

He was totally plastered.

_**Finis**_

* * *

_**Author's Note 2 - Also guys, please don't forget that if you'd like to advertise the awards on your own profile pages or stories, there's a short blurb on my (ilovetvalot) and Tonnie's (tonnie2001969) profile page for you to copy and paste if you choose! **_

_** And another round of thanks to Kavi Leighanna and Sienna 27 for their awesome TV Prompt forum. And once more with feeling, I need to thank my awesome co-author, tonnie2001969 without whom nothing would ever get done.**_

_**Thanks again for reading!**_


End file.
